You know who's a jerk? Apollo is a jerk.

"Apollo: God of beauty, poetry, music"
Damn! Just pick one thing asshole!

Apollo: "Hey Zeus, can I be the god of Beauty?"

Zeus: "Kinda gay, but alright, since no one has called it yet."

Apollo: "oh! oh! and how about music?"

Zeus: "Fine."

Apollo: "Oh! And Poetry too!"

Zeus: "I guess that makes sense, with music and all."

Apollo: "Oh! Also..also, haircuts."

Zeus: "Haircuts?"

Apollo: "Haircuts."

Zeus: "Jesus! That's where I draw the line! Get out of here you poetry loving homo!"

Apollo: "How about if no one else wants it."

Zeus: "Fine! Get out!"

TWO MONTHS LATER ...OR THREE?...(fucking calendar)

Apollo: "So, can I be god of haircuts now?"

Zeus: "Nope."

Apollo: "What!?"

Zeus: "Tithonus called it."

Apollo: What!? That old grasshopper bastard!"

Tithonus: "I'm off to kick Samson's Ass."